Drunk dialing

Forgive me Readers, for I have sinned.

It has been one month and 3 days since my last Drunk Dial.

*hangs head in shame*

You know how sometimes you drink too much and a concerned friend will take your keys? Well, damn it, they need to take your cell phone too!


Halloween party. Many free beers. A few shots. And Psycho Boy's new phone number in my contacts list. Bad combination.

So I'm at this party and its almost closing time and I decide I don't want my night to end just because the bar does. I call PB. He doesn't answer. Probably a good thing, I think to myself.

Ten minutes later he calls back. Shit! Now I have to admit why I called. I ask him if he's going to be up, he says yes, I offer to come over, he says okay.

I get there, he makes fun of my costume, I say "Fine, I'll take it off."

And then I fuck him on the couch. Eh. It was okay. That was one of the reasons I never wanted a relationship with him. He's just so boring. Intellectually, he's amazing, very intelligent. But when it comes to carnal knowledge, he's borderline retarded.

But hey, sex is sex, right? I hate posting about sexual mediocrity because a) it's not fun to read about and b) I don't want to be associated with bad sex! I don't want to admit that I have bad sex. It reflects poorly on me, don't you think?

Anyway, the next morning, I wake up in his bed and he's on the couch. Apparently I was hogging the bed. I went back to sleep, woke up to pee, fed his cat, fell asleep again, and when I was finally coherent enough, I got up and went out and sat in the living room with him.

That lasted about 5 minutes. I forgot how much he pisses me off and that that's why I stopped hanging out with him. He has this very condescending sense of humor and he gets off on making fun of people. Ok, not people, just me.

I was out of there. Not even so much as a kiss good bye. And that really bites because I'm all about "one for the road" sex too.

So I go like 2 months without sex and when I finally get some, it's not even worth writing about.

I need a new toy. Scratch that, I need two new toys. One human, one battery-operated.