So if women are psycho...

...then what are men?

Believe me, women have not cornered the market on 'crazy'. Men are just as bad.

Have any of you women managed to find a man who knows what he wants, that speaks his mind, and shares his thoughts and feelings openly? If you have, I hope you married him.

Two men, two scenarios:

One guy, previously described as FB 4, seems to be uncomfortable with the idea of hanging out with me outside of his apartment. I don't see what the big deal is. He made such an issue of it that I told him I just wasn't going to contact him anymore because he just seemed annoyed if I attempted to socialize with him. But, alas, Friday night, I got a little intoxicated while out on a date with someone else and sent FB4 a text message asking him if he was up for some sex if my date didn't put out. He responded enthusiastically. I said I'd call him later if I needed him. Well as it turns out, I didn't.

Fast forward to Saturday night. I sent FB4 a text again, asking him if he was coming to an event to which I had previously invited him. When I invited him, I made it clear that I was not asking him to be my date. I asked him if he wanted to bring some friends. I didn't even ask him to join me because I was attending with OC. So I texted him to see if he was going to make it. He said he couldn't find anyone to go with him. I told him he was welcome to hang out with me. He said that would be a little weird for him, he didn't want to show up by himself. I told him I would meet him outside. (He also asked if it was safe to assume that my date did put out since he hadn't heard from me.) I told him that he really needed to relax and that I don't want to be his girlfriend. Why is that so hard to understand? I've had to tell him several times now that I do not want to date him, that I am very well aware that this is merely a sexual relationship, and that I was interested in dating a certain other person. So what's the problem? Just. Fucking. Relax. You're not my type anyway. Yeah, that whole pot-smoking, long hair, hippy vibe he's got going on is fun but he's not boyfriend material. But when we have talked and hung out, pre-sex, we've laughed and had a good time. So what's wrong with doing that somewhere other than his apartment? Fuck.

As far as the guy from my date on Friday, I seriously think he has some mental issues. I'm not using that as some kind of insult. Based on some things he said on his profile (yes, I met him online) and during our phone conversations, I think he has a mental illness. And I'm not one to judge, I take my fair share of meds.

Just a brief history, I saw him on an online social site (not quite a dating site) and sent him a message telling him how rare it was to find someone that was a) intelligent AND b) attractive AND c) close to my age and location. We exchanged messages and then phone numbers and talked for about two weeks before we finally had the chance to go out.

During all of these conversations, I found him interesting and intriguing and somewhat of a challenge. I was really hoping that my opinion of him would remain the same after meeting him in person. It did. He was very cute, in a jock sort of way. He has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor that I enjoy and he's somehow intense and laid-back at the same time. Throughout or date Friday night, we bantered, teased, and flirted. When we left, he walked me to my car and we discussed continuing our evening together. I kissed him (he says the first move was mutual), he slid his hand down my pants and told me his place was a mess. So I took him to mine.

We got to my place and headed for the bedroom. Now I have a tendency to skip the foreplay because, in my mind, it had already occurred back at the bar. We had amazing sex until 4 in the morning. He spent the night, leaving only when I had to the next morning.

During a few text messages throughout the day, I asked him if we were going out again and he said we were. We both had plans for Saturday night and I texted him after my evening was over to see how his went. Turns out his plans fell through. I told him he should've told me, he could've come to this event with me. (Side note: saw another guy I had met with for drinks about a month ago, didn't even acknowledge him.)

This is where I got lost. He had said something about seeing me again soon and I jokingly asked "the next time you feel like getting laid?" That led to me asking, at some point during the conversation, what his intentions were with me. (During the sex the previous night, something was mentioned about us being friends "or what" and that question was never really answered.) More specifically, I asked him if he just planned on using me for sex. No answer. Or did he have a girlfriend he failed to tell me about. No answer. Eventually he responded, telling me to talk to him when I could show him some respect. 'Scuse me?? Ok, fine, maybe I shouldn't have phrased it the way I did.

Somehow, this escalated into an argument. Now that alone pisses me off because I don't even like arguing with someone with whom I am in a relationship, much less someone I've gone out with once. He ended up calling me and cussing me out. (Apparently I was supposed to feel honored that he was taking time away from a party he was at to call me up and chew my ass.) He continued to rant and rave about how I was disrespecting him, I explained that I was simply trying to establish the basis of this "arrangement" and asking if this was going to be a sexual thing. (If it was going to be more, then I was going to do the respectful thing and stop messing around with FB4. But I didn't tell him that.) Oh, and the sex was my fault, my idea. According to him, I took him into my bedroom, got naked and said "Come fuck me, preppy boy." Funny, the night before he was claiming that neither of us was the aggressor. And he didn't exactly resist. He ends up asking me what I want. I admitted that I was hoping for something in addition to the sex, like going to a movie or something. In other words, dating. He then goes off on me about how he told me from the beginning that he wasn't looking for a relationship, that he didn't want to get into one.

Whoa, wait, slow down. When did I say "relationship"? And if he didn't want to date, why tell me that he wanted to see me again and why get so offended at my implication that this was purely sexual for him?

I suggest this is just sex, he gets mad. I suggest that we do other things together, he gets mad. Holy shit, make up your mind.

I ended up hanging up on him. I had pretty much lost interest in the conversation and in him when he told me to "shut up! just shut the fuck up!" Big mistake.

He tried to call me back and I refused to answer. I sent him a text and told him "I'm not going to sit here while you cuss me out and tell me I disrespected you then turn around and have you pretty much call me a slut. Enjoy your party." His response? "That's what you get for disrespecting a man with a spine."

Give me a fucking break.

I know he's one of those guys that thinks a woman secretly wants to be dominated, that women like the guys who will challenge them, i.e., treat them like shit or try to control them (my interpretation of his words combined with his actions), but turning this all on me for initiating sex and then proceeding to scream and cuss at me. Fuck you, buddy.

So he's out. He went from Speed Dial status to being deleted from my phone book. Its a shame because, had he not been quite so sociopathic, he would've had potential.

And I think FB4 is out too because he's just way too paranoid.

Why can't I just find what I'm looking for? I know I probably brought some of this on myself for having sex so soon but I happen to enjoy it and if I find someone worthy of having sex with, I take that opportunity because it doesn't happen very often. I know it may seem hard to believe that someone who has, on several occasions, been called a "slut" is in reality very choosy about who she sleeps with but it is true. Sure, I've been getting some lately but before that, I went four months without sex, not due to any lack of opportunity. Even though its hard for me to find someone I want to have sex with, none of those have ever turned me down.

Is there something wrong with my expectations? I am not looking for a relationship but I'm not completely opposed to one. However, it would be nice to find someone that I can fuck after going to dinner or a movie or whatever. Is that wrong of me to want that? And why do guys freak out if a woman wants that and act like she's trying to weasel her way into being his girlfriend or tricking him into being a relationship?

And they say women are psycho...

Screw it, I'm off to watch Family Guy.

P.S. I'll post the details of the better part of our evening at another time.